He's Gone
by pinacolada544
Summary: Right where season 2 left off. How Elena deals with the knowledge that Stefan is gone and the relief of Damon's safety. ONESHOT


So, this is how I would have like to see Damon and Elena's relationship develop between season 2 and 3!

Elena stood at the foot of Damon's bed, the bed that she just laid on, and the bed that she just kissed Damon on. She clutched the antidote harshly under her long fingers. She stood in a moment of shock at Katherine's words, replaying in her head over and over again.

"It's okay to love them both, I did."

The words like daggers to her heart, for more reasons than she could comprehend. Did that mean that Katherine truly did love Damon? How can she think that's okay? Why does she think I love Damon? But the question that screamed louder than any sound she had ever heard, Do I love Damon? Her sight was blurred and her mouth hung slightly open in search of her words, in search of a sound, in search of her breath.

Damon sat up, leaning on his elbows, his face plastered in confusion. He replayed every word that came from Katherine's mouth over and over in search of some relief from his bewilderment. His confusion was soon replaced with concern as his gaze found Elena, she stood still, seemingly lifeless if he had not been able to hear her racing heart, the blood rushing through her veins, but he could not hear her breath.

"Elena, are you okay?" his voice remained weak as he struggled to stand up.

She stood still apparently unaware of his question, unaware of his presence. He repeated her name, louder with each call until the words filled with concern and pain reached her. She stumbled, nearly falling before she caught herself, her eyes fluttered and she turned to face Damon who looked just as confused as she. She took into account his still weak state and sat beside him once again, she placed her hands on his shoulders pushing him to lay back. She repeated the motion that Katherine had, slowly dipping the vial of blood to his mouth as he warily drank from it. Damon pulled away from the small glass opening and Elena placed the cork back and set the remains on the bedside table. She still sat up her body tense as ever as her thoughts raced back to the questions, what had that kiss meant? It was surely just a goodbye kiss, wasn't it? But deep down Elena knew that it hadn't been purely a goodbye kiss, it had been something that she had longed to do, to feel his lips against hers. Elena knew in that moment that the kiss wasn't for him but it was for her, she needed to feel his soft lips against hers before….the thought of the moment that never came nearly broke her, to think that he nearly…she couldn't even think the word, with even these half-thoughts she felt tears streaming down her face. In that same moment she felt his cool fingers brush across her cheek, drying the salty path on her face.

"We'll find him, Elena. I promise."

In this moment he ached for her, he wanted to pull her into him, to simply hold her in his arms; he wanted to be with her, he needed to be with her.

Elena shook herself from her thoughts and cringed at the thought that she hadn't even begun to think about Stefan, God, how could she be so selfish. She was crying over her boyfriend's brother, the wrong brother. She thanked God that tears couldn't show what they were from, because if they had, she'd have been screwed. The tears flew more freely as the reality hit her, Stefan was gone and he had given her up just like that. But she couldn't think like that, she knew he had done it to save his brother, but it still felt like a knife to the heart that he was just gone, without a goodbye.

Elena straightened back up as Damon's hand pulled away from her face, she sniffled and roughly wiped her face before plastering on a smile.

"I know."

The words were meant to be convincing, more to herself than Damon but she could hear the fear in her voice from the situation. She cleared her throat in an attempt to make a more convincing hopeful girlfriend as she stood up,

"I'm gonna' go get you some blood bags." She turned and slowly made her way out of Damon's room.

She crept down the stairs in search of any sign of a lingering Katherine as she found her way to the basement cooler. She shuddered at the sight of the fridge full of blood, but continued to grab a handful of bags. She placed them into the microwave and she noticed how violently her hands were shaking as she fumbled with the slick buttons. She clenched her hands tightly as she waited for the methodic beeping, as she returned to Damon a shaking body had replaced her shaking hands, and she fought for control as she stood beside Damon.

As Damon hesitantly drank she watched in awe as, what little color he did possess, returned to his pale face, and she saw the life return to his eyes. She was caught off guard by how happy seeing him healthy again made her, her shaking slowed and her heart rate calmed as a faint smile placed on her face. She saw his eyes filled with exhaustion and as though they had communicated telepathically she turned off all his lights and found her way to the parlor, she needed a drink, desperately.

She sat in the leather chair that was seated next to the bar and allowed her thoughts to wonder again as her fingertips grazed over the rim of the bourbon. She hadn't been one to drink since her parents death but this was one of the few moment that she allowed herself to drink free of guilt. After downing 3 double shots she pulled her knees to her chest in search of comfort, she rested her forehead on her knees and soon dozed off.

Her eyes fluttered open at the feeling of the warm sun on her back, she sat up taking in her surroundings. She was in Stefan's room, but she didn't remember making it here. She curled back into a ball and pulled Stefan's pillow to her face, she had seen him less than a day ago but it felt like a lifetime, she inhaled his scent remembering all the nights she spent in his room before. As the memories flashed she remembered the first night they spent together, the car wreck, and Damon rescuing her. NO. She needed to focus on Stefan, focus on finding Stefan. She regretfully tore the thin sheet from her body and as she found her way to her feet the blood rushed from her head, revealing a less than desired hangover. She rubbed her palm over her forehead in hopes that it would soothe the throbbing deep within her. As she heard a faint creak she turned her head and winced in pain at a throbbing in her neck. Her hands found their way to her neck; she felt the wounds from the previous night and the dried blood that rested on her neck. This was a time when she wished Stefan had his own bathroom; she didn't want to make Damon feel any guiltier about biting her than he already did. She pulled her hair to one side, successfully hiding the wounds as she stood in Damon's doorway.

"Can I use your shower?" her voice was still tired and her eyes were only halfway open.

Damon nodded towards her, keeping his focus on a book that sat in his lap. But as soon as she turned away from him he studied her, taking in her beauty, only to be cut off from his thoughts by the slam of the bathroom door.

Elena pulled her hair from her neck tying it up as she studied the damage. She turned to turn on the faucet, anticipation of the hot water over her body flooded through her as she felt the brush of the warmth. She tried her best not to move her neck too much until she could clear the wound and see how bad it was. When she stepped out of the steam filled room a gust of cold air passed her, sending a shiver down her spine. Her surprisingly steady hands swiped over the foggy mirror revealing the shocking tears in her neck, if she had not stopped him he would have torn her throat out. She rummaged through the medicine cabinet, hoping to find a bandage of some kind to hide the evidence, until the thought hit her. Shit, he's a vampire, he heals, and he doesn't need bandages. She ran a towel quickly through her hair then continuing to fasten it around her body. She positioned her hair as before as she reluctantly stepped out of the safety of the steam filled bathroom, where Damon was still completely enthralled in his book. With a single breath Damon caught a whiff of her wound and with his inhuman speed he was in front of her, his eyes filled with fear as to what he had done.

"Did I hurt you?" his voice was low and soft and filled with hope that he was wrong.

She tore her gaze from him, focusing on the floor,

"No. No, I'm fine." She tried to pass him but before she took a step he brushed the hair away from her neck revealing the gruesome wound.

"Oh my god, Elena. I'm so sorry." He could feel the tears building up in his eyes, the regret in his voice, and he longed for her forgiveness.

She looked back up at him, she wasn't afraid of him, "Damon, I'm okay." She spoke each word slowly, hoping that he could understand that she wasn't mad.

Damon's mind raced a mile a minute; if there was anyone in this world that he would never hurt it was Elena. He fought against every being in his body whenever he was with her to keep from killing her, because she was the one person that made his life worth living and the thought that he had done _that_ to _her_ shook him violently. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he studied her expression intently.

She cupped his face with her hands and looked into his eyes with reassurance, "Damon, it's okay. I'm going to be fine."

Her eyes bore into his as she spoke, the thought of being this close to him, she knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. She returned this feeling that she was just happy that he wasn't dead, but in reality it was so much deeper than that. She dropped her hands and clasped her towel again on her way back to Stefan's room. As she exited moments later Damon greeted her, his eyes were filled with sadness as he looked at her, and she knew that he felt bad about biting her. He set the contents of his hands onto a table nearby as he motioned for her to follow him. She stood still focusing on the supplies. She shuddered as his fingers brushed against her while he pulled her hair to her other side. She bent her neck, giving him better access, she stared into his eyes as he tended to her wounds, she didn't like feeling like an invalid but she liked him being this way to her, showing her the real him. She shook the thoughts from her head as he placed a bandage over the large gashes in her neck.

The remains of the day flashed by in a haze and before either of them knew it, it was night again. As the last rays of sunshine faded into the glow of the moon in the house Damon and Elena sat in front of the fire, content in the silence that flowed through the house freely. Damon sat next to the bar, as usual, and Elena was sunken into the couch, her legs crossed as she watched the flames intently.

The following week lingered filled with daily routines that Elena had grown tired of, her only focus, well the only focus that she would admit, was finding Stefan. Damon had been withdrawn from the subject and this angered Elena, but most of all it confused her, but she refused to question him about it, she was constantly afraid that something she would say would lead him to the kiss, and that was the last thing she wanted to talk about. She couldn't even begin to understand it herself, let alone explain it to him. But as the weeks carried on she couldn't continue anymore, not since she found the closet of Damon tracking Stefan himself.

"Why didn't you tell me?" her voice was dripping in anger as she nearly yelled at him. "All this time you've acted like you didn't care, why wouldn't you just tell me that you were tracking Klaus' victims?" her voice grew softer.

"Because they're not Klaus' victims Elena, they're Stefan's." his voice was harsh even though he knew the news would be too.

Tears started streaming down her face, with no sign of stopping, "What?" her voice was low and she looked at him in disbelief.

He walked closer to her standing only inches away from her, "He's flipped the switch, Elena. We're not getting him back." He spoke hesitantly, she needed to understand that the Stefan she knew is gone, and he wasn't coming back.

She saw the concern in his eyes and cupped his face with her hands as her tears fell from the edge of her face, "Then we'll let him go." She started, "We'll have to let him go." She understood the full meaning of her words, although she almost hoped that he didn't.

His eyes studied her features; he was confused by her sudden acceptance of the situation. He yearned to pull her face into hers, to kiss her, to tell her that it was going to be all right, to tell her that they were going to be all right, to tell her that he loved her, but no words could escape his mouth. He simply basked in the feeling of her hands on his face.

After moments of silence he stepped away from her, instantly missing the feeling of her touch, but he sat on his bed and watched, as she stood frozen, only watching him.

She hesitantly began, "Could I stay here? With you?" her voice grew quieter, "I don't really want to be alone." The tears started forming in her eyes again as she took into account the full account of their conversation.

He nodded and scooted towards the middle of the bed as to make room for her, but instead of her resting on the edge, far away from him, as he had expected she curled up close to him, resting her head on his chest and draping her arm across his stomach. He was lulled to sleep by her soft breathing and slow heartbeat, his chin resting against her head as he fell asleep. He awoke much earlier than he knew she would and just enjoyed this moment, he had wanted this for as long as he could remember, the woman he loved sleeping in his arms, he could get used to this.


End file.
